A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming the Communication Problems

When you’re in a relationship, communication is key. If you can’t agree on the simplest things, like what movie to watch or where to eat dinner, it won’t be long before your relationship starts feeling stale and unfulfilling. In fact, lack of communication is one of the leading factors for divorce. According to data from a survey, lack of communication is a leading and the most common  factor contributing to divorces, at 65%.

Communication is not just crucial for successful relationships. It can also make your life easier and more enjoyable. If your partner doesn’t share your views on something simple, like what’s for dinner, how do you expect them to be in sync with complicated topics such as religion or politics?

This article lists a few tips for couples to manage their communication problems.

Don’t Be a Blamer

Blame often leads to defensiveness, which makes it even harder for your partner to listen to you. Asking for what you need is one thing; laying blame is another. To avoid being a blamer in your relationship, identify the real issue and ask yourself how to solve the problem.

The same study above says that 70% of the men survey responders feel that blaming, nagging, and complaining was the top problem in their relationship. You can stop this blaming game by communicating with your partner. And communication here does not mean only saying what you feel but also hearing what your better half has to say.

Instead of always blaming each other, it is advised to admit your fault if you feel that you or no one is to blame for a situation. A study by the National Library of Medicine studied the effect of admitting fault versus blaming others. The results concluded that accepting the fault can significantly reduce the chances of entering a heated communication, which can impact your relationship.

Be Honest

The next step to improving your communication is being honest. If you’re not honest with your partner, it’s impossible to have a relationship. It is essential to be honest about what you are feeling and thinking, even if it makes him or her feel uncomfortable or upset. This honesty will help strengthen your bond and improve overall communication within the relationship.

You would have heard the saying; honesty is the best policy. And that’s the case with relationships. According to an article published in Psychology Today magazine, ceasing lying can improve a relationship over a long period. This improved relationship can also lead to enhanced physical and mental health.

Don’t Be Afraid to See a Counselor or a Therapist

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. If you think a counselor or therapist might be helpful for your relationship, don’t hesitate to ask for help. According to data from The Gottman Institute, only 19% of couples seek professional couple counseling help. Also, an average team waits for 6 years before approaching help.

If your partner is resistant to seeing a counselor or therapist, take some time to consider why they might be reluctant. Are they concerned about the cost? Are they worried about confidentiality? Or could it be something else entirely? Once you’ve determined why your partner may be hesitant, work with them on finding a solution that works for both of you.

When considering hiring help, it is best to seek help from a local counselor. The relationship trends may vary from place to place. Communication problems might be common in an urban location due to fast-paced life. However, rural areas might have higher chances of lying and dishonesty. 

Hence, a local counselor will be able to understand such things and help you in the best possible way. Suppose you live in Scottsdale. Hiring a counselor from Alabama or Oklahoma won’t be useful in that scenario. You will also have to travel a lot for therapy sessions. So it would be best to seek help from local Scottsdale counselors. This will ensure that you get easily accessible help whenever you want.

Always Listen to Your Partner

Listening is a vital part of any communication. If you don’t listen to what your partner is saying, there’s no point in having the conversation. Listen for their tone of voice, body language, and unspoken words in their message, i.e., the feelings. Ask questions and encourage your partner to share more about what is going on for them.

Use other forms of communication, such as texting. However, when you text your partner, be vary of good habits. For example, research has shown that texting can help and hinder a relationship. Hence, knowing what to text and when to text is vital.

You should send funny texts and memes to your partner. This will open up communication that will foster your relationship. On the other hand, sexting can impair your relationship. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is true. Excessive sexting usually leads to conflict, according to a study published on the Frontiers journal website.

Show Respect for Your Better Half in Front of Others

When in the company of a partner’s friends or family, it’s essential to treat them respectfully and not criticize their personality or character. If a friend asks you about your partner, avoid making negative comments about him/her. Instead, say something positive about them, such as “I love how warm he/she is” or “She cares about me.”

Showing mutual respect leads to positive conversations. Couples who follow this mutual respect rule have a 5:1 ratio of compliments to complaints. For every negative interaction, they have five positive interactions.

It’s okay to feel jealous at times because everyone gets jealous sometimes. But if you’re constantly feeling envious of your partner’s time with other people, then this could be causing friction between the two of you. Take some time together so you can discuss this issue openly and honestly without worrying about anyone overhearing what’s being said.

Final Words

Ultimately, it’s up to you and your partner to prioritize communication in your relationship. We hope these tips will help you on your journey toward better communication, but we know this is just the beginning.

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